14 Months in 14 Minutes

To be able to put our entire experience abroad into one video would be impossible. Although we did travel quite a lot, it was not our main objective to visit every major city and country. Rather we wanted to take the time exploring our own city, meeting people, learning about different cultures, and most importantly, having a hell of a good time doing it!!!

We want to dedicate this video to all the wonderful people we met throughout our travels and in Bologna… those who were there to make our time abroad exciting, adventurous and most importantly full of love. We just want to say grazie infinito to everyone who became a fundamental part of our lives in these past 14 months. We will forever cherish the amazing opportunity we had to live in one of the most beautiful places in the world.

Un bacione a tutti <3

xxx

Lily & Shelby

The Inevitable

Close your eyes mom and dad, I’m about to talk about cooties and romance. Don’t freak, it’s all a part of the growing up process and experiencing life and opportunities as they are offered to us, right? I’m here to discuss the topic of i ragazzi (boys eek). You know, those Italian stallions that everyone asks about when I mention that I study in Italy.

To be honest, I’m not necessarily attracted to your classic Italian man, with their dark features, too tight jeans and freshly groomed hair… but I do appreciate how much they understand and appreciate romance. I’m talking when an Italian man calls to ask you out on a nice date rather than sending a text to ask you to hang out. Italians as a whole know the importance of wining and dining, and they love even more to show their knowledge of it. From my experiences, I’ve found that no matter how well an Italian may know you or what their true intentions and feelings are, they want to show off what their nonna (grandmother) and mamma taught them.

I think it’s really important to experience dating in another culture because every upbringing has something different to offer. And through these “cultural experiences”, we are gradually able to define the aspects in partners that we seek and are attracted to. I love dates because they are a set aside time to talk with the other person, share a meal, do an activity, anything really. Especially when you go on a date in another country, you are able to learn about the culture first hand.

The first time I went on a real date with an Italian I was taken out to a beautiful Italian restaurant. At this point in time, I was still struggling with my Italian and hadn’t experienced eating out much because I didn’t do much of that during my time in Florence. My date explained to me how i primi piatti are typically pasta dishes while i secondi piatti are typically meats or fish. We passed the next 4 hours at dinner (Italian meals are a marathon) drinking a glass of Sangiovese wine, eating a perfectly cooked steak and teaching each other about our cultures, where we come from and what our families are like. Although two people may have been raised on opposite sides of the world, the fun part is discovering the similarities and qualities in life that you both appreciate.

Coming from a culture where PDA (Public Display of Affection) is looked down upon, it was initially hard to adjust to seeing couples make out on the streets. Yet throughout the year I realized that expressing affection is a healthier way to live. Why must we hide the fact that we love each other, that we appreciate spending time with one another? I find myself wondering why we are taught that it is wrong. Nowadays when I see a couple enjoying their time together and expressing their love for one another, it makes me happy for them. To display affection is a freeing feeling, it should not be something we hide.

To be honest, I’m a little nervous to go back to California where PDA and nonchalant dating is the norm. I know times are a’changing and all, but must we lose the beauty of romance and dating? Even the one year old I babysit is constantly being told by his bisnonna (great grandmother) to stroke my face and “fai caro” (be sweet). He looks at me with his big brown eyes, sweet little smile and pets the side of my face. That is what I call carino (cute), am I right?

Expressing love is something that shines out of every corner of Italy, from the nonna using every ounce of her effort to make fresh pasta for her family, to a friend greeting you with “ciao bellissima” and a double cheek kiss.

To finish this up short and sweet: no matter where I may be in the world, my heart will always be running back to Italy.

Con amore,

Lily

Our Weekend In Rimini: Part 2

Part 2: Family First

Before going abroad, everyone told me that it’s going to be a “life changing experience” and how I’ll learn so much about myself, different cultures and the world as a whole. So far, everything that everyone’s told me has been pretty true, but one thing that I’d say that I’ve realized since being abroad, is just how independent I am. At times, too independent, because that’s how I’ve always been. However, this past weekend in Rimini has especially taught me how precious family is and how it’s ok to let yourself be taken care of every once in a while. There is nothing like waking up on a Sunday morning and spending hours in the kitchen with family and friends making pasta by hand while listening to Christmas music all together. Italy has taught me that friends and family are truly everything. I’ve never been so welcomed into a new place with people I just met hours before.

Family is being together around the table and sharing a meal of freshly made food, drinking another glass of wine that was poured for you by a real Italian nonno (grandpa) and singing songs together while the mamma plays the guitar. It doesn’t really matter how much you fight or bicker, as long as you’re spending time together. In the Italian culture, no one ever feels lonely, because no matter how small a family might be, everyone is welcome to be a part of the family. I love how much Italians love. They aren’t possessive of anything, rather they give and give and give. You will never find yourself hungry in the hands of an Italian nonna. They always greet you with a double cheek kiss and call you cici (cutie cutie) and tell you all sweet things you want to hear in Italian: sei bella, sei carina. Life in Italia is simple, you spend your days preparing food, eating a meal that lasts 3 hours with friends and family, and then riposare un po (relax a little). Yet at the same time it’s chaotic, everyone yelling over each other in their beautiful language (yes, it is bellissima). The culture is a perfect balance of simplicity and chaos. How am I ever going to leave this place?

It may sound cheesy but this weekend has really changed something inside of me and the way I see and value things. I want to live the rest of my life like this, with a home filled with the scent of yummy food and the sound of a crazy, fun family around me. There is nothing more important in life than to be surrounded by the people that you love. You can keep the BMW and the Louis Vuitton purse, I’d rather have a kitchen to make my loved ones fresh pasta and lots of veggies every day. Oh and don’t forget the wine please…

Ahhh this truly is la dolce vita… 

Con Amore,

Lily

The Art of Dodging Facebook “Friendship”

Within my first few weeks of being here in Italy, I began to notice how much Italians love Facebook. Don’t get me wrong, I love Facebook, especially being abroad and 9 hours ahead of my friends and family back home in California. However, it’s a different kind of love that Italians have. What I’ve noticed is that within the first conversation that you have with someone that you meet, whether it’s in the city, at a club or through a friend, they always ask if they can add you as a friend on Facebook. At first, I was excited and flattered that an Italian wanted to be my friend, and I still am whenever I make new friends but this is a different kind of “friendship”. I’ll just get to the point here and say that Italian men are straightforward, they aren’t here to play games, and coming from a culture where everyone beats around the bush, it was a little much and overwhelming at first.

Wanting to improve my language and meet new people, I posted on a Bologna tandem language exchange Facebook page that I was looking for people to speak to in Italian in exchange for my help in English. This is something used very commonly within the student body and with lots of good judgement, you can actually meet some really interesting and nice people. But along with the nice people comes hundreds of Facebook messages of Italian speakers over-eager to meet you. Here’s where the Art of Dodging Facebook “Friendship” comes in.

Take a gander at some of the messages Shelby and I have received.

When being approached on the street by a man that says something along the lines of “Scusa, sei una bella ragazza“. First, analyze whether you are in a public setting or not. If the answer is no, say grazie (or nothing) and walk away. If yes and you acknowledge it, they will most likely ask you out for a caffè and if your response is no, they will most likely ask for your number or to add you on Facebook. Ciao Ciao!

When being approached at the gym or another place that you frequent and someone starts talking to you while you are 20 minutes into a run, dripping sweat and have your headphones in… say ciao, and continue your workout. If they seem harmless and ask to be your friend, you’re most likely going to be seeing them around the gym so being Facebook friends wouldn’t hurt to avoid the awkwardness.

Italians are raised in a social, loving, family centered culture. They thrive on constant chatter, meeting new people every chance they get and dining for hours upon end. This is the reason why I have 27 pending friend requests on Facebook (and no I do not know them). In Italian culture, everything is romanticized and they truly live each moment at its fullest. If they are intrigued by someone, they will approach that person and tell them how beautiful they are. They are honest and blunt. It may be overwhelming and unwanted at times but I find it refreshing. Why not tell someone they are beautiful if you’re thinking it? And while you’re at it send them a good old fashion Facebook friend request ;)

p.s. Number one rule about all in person contact is that if you acknowledge someone with a smirk or a smile just to be friendly, it means that you want to be Facebook friends. That’s all for now and happy social media-ing.

Ciao for now,

Lily

Quando Sei Tranquilla, Troverai Amore

“Quando Sei Tranquilla, Troverai Amore.” These are the words I told my 22 year old Italian roommate as she was sitting on the couch after a night of drinking, pouring her heart out about how she’s not going to find love “in time”.

I found her semi-drunk lamenting ironic because just earlier today I was telling Shelby about a conversation I had with a wise Italian woman, whom we can call Chiara. She shared a portion of an Italian psychology book with me that discusses the topic of relationships, specifically intimate ones, but I believe that its philosophies can be applied to any form. The excerpt discusses how in a couple, when each partner travels down their own path in life as two independent individuals, but still together, eventually they grow apart. They find themselves in different points in life in which it is hard to find that common ground that they can share together. What Chiara and I discussed is that in order to maintain healthy relationships, we need to work hard to create a “Due” (a couple) rather than two separate “Uno”. Although we need to maintain our individuality and independence, being able to share that with another human is one of the most precious aspects in life. When we find ourselves becoming concerned about a fight or something difficult, we need to take this as a sign that we care about the relationship, that we want it to continue and move forward. The best way to do so is to be able to be honest with both ourselves and our partner, to be open to eachothers wants and needs. The excerpt states, “un amore vero e limpido non finisce”, meaning a true and clear love doesn’t finish and no matter where a relationship may lead, even if the two do not remain together, love will always be there in memory. We talked about how each person that comes into our lives leaves a mark and how whether they make us the happiest person in the world or hurt us in the end, we grow from those experiences and we learn about our own needs and desires from others.

Chiara then asked me to think about relationships that I’ve been around or have experienced myself that I would give advice to in retrospect. In that moment one of my favorite quotes popped into my head: “You can’t love anyone until you love yourself”. Some might consider this to be harsh, but I find this quote to be accurate and honest, because I believe that it’s not until we are happy with ourselves and love who we are as an individual, that we are able to be honest and open with others. On a personal level, I have found that with my practice of yoga and pilates, I am able to build a relationship with myself every day. I take the time to focus on what my body and mind need, starting each day with a focus on me as an individual. I don’t sit around waiting for something to magically happen because that is not the way the world works. I take the time to do the things necessary in my life to keep a positive mind, body and spirit and know that it will lead me where I want to be. When we take the time to focus on ourselves, we learn and grow into the best version of ourselves in that very moment. When we follow these practices and are proactive about our lives, love will find its way. We must go out into the world and do the things that we love. We must love ourselves  (as cheesy as it sounds) in order to love the people around us and eventually that love transcends into a direction in life, which we can choose to follow and find our way. I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from a song written at Camp Fox, a sleepaway camp that I used to attend every summer: “But to never love is to risk never being loved in return”. So go out there and LOVE yourself, love your dog, love your sister, love your mother, and love your lover!

Con Amore,

Lily

PS the title translates to: “When You Are Tranquil, You Will Find Love”